Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.


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Who am I, if not this?

For those of you who have found yourselves changing careers or taking a new path in life – such as myself – you might be feeling a bit off. You may be feeling like several layers of your identity have been stripped away. This is completely normal, and in some way, it is true. You must let go of that which no longer serves you and forge ahead. You are stripping away the layers that no longer align with who you are, and while it might be sad to say goodbye to that which is familiar, it’s an important and necessary step forward.

Whether you are starting a new job, taking on the stay-at-home-parent role, or retiring, this change can be unfamiliar and, frankly, a little scary. I encourage you to embrace this new change of course and enjoy the ride. In some ways, it feels like an identity-crisis and you find yourself asking, “Who am I, if not this?” You are exactly who you are. Your values have not shifted, but you might be attempting to better align your values with your life purpose. I applaud you. It takes courage to make a bold change. Stay the course.

Even if you’ve found your way, and you’ve already forged ahead (Go you!) but you find yourself hitting a bump in the road or experiencing a lull, remember what John c. Maxwell says about the power of pause, “Understand what this experience is trying to teach you and change course if necessary.” What is this moment teaching you?

If you’re on a path, like me, and you’ve left stability and the mundane for uncertainty and joy, but suddenly-worrisome moments hit you like a brick from ten-stories high, remember that you are in control here. You are creating change, and while it is scary, it is empowering. Recall the motivator behind this transformation… was it to pursue passion or make time for family or self? Maybe it’s as simple as you’ve put in your time and now you’re done and ready to move on. Whatever it is, you’re in the driver’s seat and you’re in control of your destiny, your thoughts, your outcome, and your emotions about all of it.

Knowing this, how will you now proceed?

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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Hey you go-gettin-son-of-a-gun!

Nothing stops you. You’re on a mission, a mission for change or advancement, or maybe it’s realignment with your dreams and desires. Nothing is going to stop you… If you can just figure out where to start.

Paralysis is a challenge we all face. We have a vision but we struggle to execute it. I’ve been there and it can be a long process, so let me offer a quick guide that I developed a few years ago.This guide has helped me quickly identify what I want, why I want it, and how to get there. 

Dive into the meat of your desires and chart your course of action by answering these ten questions. When you answer these questions, remember to dig deep. 

  1. What do you want? (The feeling you’re seeking: To feel love; to be happy; feeling of fulfillment)
  2. What does it look like? (How it translates into action: A new job; break up with that lousy partner; moving to a new community)
  3. Why do you want it? (What will it accomplish; how will it move you closer to achieving your desire? What will it mean for you?)
  4. How will you feel when you get it? (Accomplished, relief, free, happy)
  5. What’s holding you back? (These are typically emotional or resource-based: Money, time, support, fears, limiting beliefs)
  6. What are you tolerating? (List them all!! Is it someone, something, maybe even yourself?)
  7. What can you control? (Internal vs external – list only what you can control because these are the only areas you can effectuate change)
  8. What needs to change? (Identify what HAS to change to move forward, both short term and long term)
  9. What changes are you willing to make right now? (Incrementalism is key, so start with the easy stuff and work through the rest.)
  10. Who can you enlist for support? (Find at least one person who believes in you and your vision. Ask him/her to hold you accountable.)

The final step is take action

Don’t be a dud in a sky of fireworks. 

Much love.