Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.


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Hey you go-gettin-son-of-a-gun!

Nothing stops you. You’re on a mission, a mission for change or advancement, or maybe it’s realignment with your dreams and desires. Nothing is going to stop you… If you can just figure out where to start.

Paralysis is a challenge we all face. We have a vision but we struggle to execute it. I’ve been there and it can be a long process, so let me offer a quick guide that I developed a few years ago.This guide has helped me quickly identify what I want, why I want it, and how to get there. 

Dive into the meat of your desires and chart your course of action by answering these ten questions. When you answer these questions, remember to dig deep. 

  1. What do you want? (The feeling you’re seeking: To feel love; to be happy; feeling of fulfillment)
  2. What does it look like? (How it translates into action: A new job; break up with that lousy partner; moving to a new community)
  3. Why do you want it? (What will it accomplish; how will it move you closer to achieving your desire? What will it mean for you?)
  4. How will you feel when you get it? (Accomplished, relief, free, happy)
  5. What’s holding you back? (These are typically emotional or resource-based: Money, time, support, fears, limiting beliefs)
  6. What are you tolerating? (List them all!! Is it someone, something, maybe even yourself?)
  7. What can you control? (Internal vs external – list only what you can control because these are the only areas you can effectuate change)
  8. What needs to change? (Identify what HAS to change to move forward, both short term and long term)
  9. What changes are you willing to make right now? (Incrementalism is key, so start with the easy stuff and work through the rest.)
  10. Who can you enlist for support? (Find at least one person who believes in you and your vision. Ask him/her to hold you accountable.)

The final step is take action

Don’t be a dud in a sky of fireworks. 

Much love. 


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Chart the Course

Happy New Year! It’s good to be back online! The holidays are such a busy (and hectic) time of year. Seeing (and meeting new) family is always exciting, but now that the thrill of the holiday season has passed, it’s time to settle back into “the grind” and refocus. 

I’m sure some resolutions have been made (and perhaps already broken), but let’s talk about a resolution that isn’t far fetched… Such as turning the focus inward this year. There are so many resolutions made on NYE, but the underlying message of all of those resolutions is, essentially, self improvement. Am I wrong?

Assuming that I’m right, I want to share with my readers a tool that I’ve developed and implemented in my own life. 

Two years ago, I designed a tool that helps me evaluate where I currently am, where I want to be, identify what’s holding me back, and set a plan for getting what I want. Doesn’t that sound delicious?! Getting what you want? It’s not impossible. We start small and work our way towards larger goals. I’ve been using this tool in my own life going on three years now. 
As part of my New Year resolution, I take out a pen and paper and begin to Chart the Course. I’ve used this same tool every January (2013, 2014, and now 2015). Every year, I ask myself what I want, why I want it, if I’m ready for it, and map the plan to get there – and every year, without fail, I’ve attained my goal. 

I’m so excited to share that I – now – have developed the tool enough to begin marketing it and offering it to my followers. 

Chart the Course is an insightful tool designed to inspire action. The tool is successful because it cuts straight to the real meat of any desire and it’s insightful because much of what comes out of it is an eye opener, particularly to the user. 

**Before deciding to take this tool public, I’ve sat with a few of my closest friends to see if it really does hold merit for others as it does for me. I’m pleased to share that it does and I cannot wait to begin posting testimonials. Stay tuned!**

If you’re curious about Chart the Course, and you want to give it a try, click on Contact Me in the top right and send me a message. 

*I’m offering a FREE one-hour Chart the Course session ($75 value) to the FIRST FIVE people who send me a message.*

I look forward to Charting the Course for a thrilling new year!!

xo 


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Reacting vs. Responding

We all have those moments when we are approached by someone or met with something that tests our patience. But before you fly off the handle and lose your proverbial sh** (valid or not), implement a 24-hour rule or take a moment to subtract yourself from the equation to look at the bigger picture. 

All interactions, whether positive or negative, will have a cause and effect. You have two choices here: 1) you can REACT to the situation, which implies a negative action or behavior -usually in opposition; or 2) you can RESPOND, which implies positive behavior or thoughtful and deliberate action resulting in a desired outcome. 

Taking a moment to physically remove yourself from the scenario gives you a moment to cool off, think rationally and respond in a manner that more directly reflects who you are and what you’re about. If you cannot physically remove yourself, imagine yourself outside the situation. What actually happened? What can you personally do about the situation? Will instigating in response give you the desired outcome? Can this be mediated?

Lastly, remember we cannot control others but we can control ourselves. Be intentional in your interactions and try not to let others get the best of you.  


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A dream is a wish your heart makes…

I had the pleasure of spending some cuddle time with my daughter this evening while watching Cinderella. The movie is a classic. Disney movies made back when I was a kid offered so much more than entertainment. They taught values, manners, respect… and, by the way, who knew Cinderella was so wise??

Singing along to “A dream is a wish your heart makes…” made me stop and reflect on the meaning behind the lyrics and I thought what a culture we have become. We do quite a bit of day dreaming, wishing, hoping, longing… we dream of a successful and rewarding career, a love so good, traveling, etc. And to some of us, they’re just a day dream and could never be a reality – or so we think.

These dreams are our hearts desires. These aren’t just hopes or passive thoughts. These are desires that deep down, in our hearts, we long for – these are desires, ultimately, for happiness. Think about it… who doesn’t want a rewarding and successful career? Who doesn’t want a beautiful relationship? Who doesn’t want to travel the world? These are just examples (admittedly, my own examples).

So, what’s holding us back? When your heart is screaming at you to go get your happiness… what are we allowing to hold us back? Most likely, they’re excuses. Here’s mine for example.

DESIRE: A rewarding and successful career. EXCUSE: I need financial stability to support my daughter and my purpose is not yet financially rewarding. (Reality: I’m slightly afraid to take the leap… but what I’ve done instead is attempt to make a slow transition until my purpose can support my basic needs.)

DESIRE: A beautiful relationship. EXCUSE: As a single mother, with a job and school, I don’t have time. (Reality: I’m selfish with my time. Weekdays are virtually completely spoken for, but I have most of my weekends – I could meet someone with the same schedule or in the same situation.)

DESIRE: To travel. EXCUSE: Money is mostly accounted for. (Reality: Putting money away little by little and planning in advance for travel is really not that difficult. It’s worked for me in the past. I just need to make the decision and follow through.)

So, what do you desire? What excuses are you allowing to hold you back? What are some options for making your dreams a reality? Make a list.

Go chase your dreams.


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You owe it to yourself…

Round two. I got some feedback from some of you that you liked my post, “it hit home”, “this was exactly what I needed to hear”, “you’re so right”, etc. So, I thought I’d talk about it more today.

Desire. What is it? It’s a longing for something, a strong feeling of wanting something. We all have a desire for something… usually something greater than our current possession, circumstance, career, relationship. Essentially, you feel you deserve better or get a sense that you are made for something bigger or better. Guess what, you are right! Trust your intuition. You’re deserve everything you desire. But are you willing to do what it takes to have it? Are you ready to take action to get there?

Let’s address the steps it takes to get there.

  1. Narrow it down. You can only address and focus on one thing at a time. Figure out what it is you want and ask yourself why  you want it. When you get it, how will life be different for you?
  2. Hold that vision. Do what you need to do to make sure you are reminded of that vision. Put a post it note on your mirror, hang a picture of it… you get the picture. This keeps your priorities on track. Before taking action on any task, ask yourself, “is this going to contribute to the end result I am aiming for?” Ultimately, you want it to result in exactly what you envision. Nothing less. No substitutions.
  3. What is true for you now? Assess what you have here and now that will allow you to immediately begin turning your vision into a reality. What resources do you currently have? (Resources = time, money, equipment, knowledge, people, etc.) How can you reallocate or make better use of those resources?
  4. Which resources do you lack? Set a goal: Create a plan of action to acquire those resources, by priority, in a timeframe that’s comfortable for you.
  5. Are you in the right mind set? Do you have faith in yourself that you can make it happen? If you don’t, then you will fail. Don’t give in to limiting beliefs.
  6. What are you tolerating right now? Shed some of that dead weight. Is it limiting beliefs? Is it settling for less and feeling like it’s going to have to do? Are you making excuses? Is someone else giving you excuses? Do you have the drive and dedication that it will take to manifest your vision?
  7. And finally… GO FOR IT. If you want anything bad enough, you have the ability to make it happen.

I could ramble a ton of cliches at you… Put the petal to the metal. Step on it. Carpe diem. Nike!

You get the picture. No more excuses.

I’d love to hear more from you! What is your vision? What are you tolerating?