Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.


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Hey you go-gettin-son-of-a-gun!

Nothing stops you. You’re on a mission, a mission for change or advancement, or maybe it’s realignment with your dreams and desires. Nothing is going to stop you… If you can just figure out where to start.

Paralysis is a challenge we all face. We have a vision but we struggle to execute it. I’ve been there and it can be a long process, so let me offer a quick guide that I developed a few years ago.This guide has helped me quickly identify what I want, why I want it, and how to get there. 

Dive into the meat of your desires and chart your course of action by answering these ten questions. When you answer these questions, remember to dig deep. 

  1. What do you want? (The feeling you’re seeking: To feel love; to be happy; feeling of fulfillment)
  2. What does it look like? (How it translates into action: A new job; break up with that lousy partner; moving to a new community)
  3. Why do you want it? (What will it accomplish; how will it move you closer to achieving your desire? What will it mean for you?)
  4. How will you feel when you get it? (Accomplished, relief, free, happy)
  5. What’s holding you back? (These are typically emotional or resource-based: Money, time, support, fears, limiting beliefs)
  6. What are you tolerating? (List them all!! Is it someone, something, maybe even yourself?)
  7. What can you control? (Internal vs external – list only what you can control because these are the only areas you can effectuate change)
  8. What needs to change? (Identify what HAS to change to move forward, both short term and long term)
  9. What changes are you willing to make right now? (Incrementalism is key, so start with the easy stuff and work through the rest.)
  10. Who can you enlist for support? (Find at least one person who believes in you and your vision. Ask him/her to hold you accountable.)

The final step is take action

Don’t be a dud in a sky of fireworks. 

Much love. 


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I want what I want…

Let’s face it, I’m a millennial. I have a different approach to life, a vastly different view on work-life, and the desire to be creative. I’m literally dying inside while sitting in front of a computer all day where I work (like a puppet) on things that other’s want me to do (even if I don’t agree) and my creative juices are, well, somewhere in the pit of my stomach causing me feel ill and lousy, and plain ol’ blah.

“How was work?” is usually the first thing people ask after a long day. I remember a time when I would rant and rave, excitedly sharing news about my day. I was making a difference. I was doing something great. Lately, I hear that question and I cringe at how to answer it without 1) pretending it was awesome, and 2) sending myself into an hour-long rant about how boring and unfulfilling it is.

What I want from my work-life is to be able to be creative, have fun with it, look forward to getting my sleeves rolled up and getting in there. I want to do something that is actually making a difference… not plan all these wild ideas of what-ifs, thinking up the plan and designing the program to get there only to just watch it get dusty on a shelf, never to be implemented.

I want to enjoy going to work. I want to enjoy 99% of the people I work with. I want us to lift each other up, celebrate one another, and make each other better. No one enjoys the gossiper, the whiner, the know it all, the nosey-Rose, and the slacker. Complacency is the culprit for all of the above. When people get bored, or fed-up, their ugly comes out. We all have those moments. I have them often. Soul-sucking personalities in your work-life are toxic, and spread like the wildfire.

I want flexibility. I want to work the hours during my personal peak productivity. I want that mid-day gym work out that gets the blood pumping and the creative juices flowing, staving off the 2 o’clock death hour that sends you into a coma, longing for a place to curl up for an afternoon nap. I want meetings held standing up or walking through the park. I want less lengthy reports that actually take away from the stuff that actually produces results.

I want colorful work spaces, fresh air, healthy work conditions and options. I once asked for a standing work station. It didn’t have to be a desk. It just needed to accommodate me standing up when I got tired of sitting through the 8 to 5. I was told that it “wouldn’t actually be better for me to stand for long periods of time.”

I want to wake up with the sun, not before it. To cherish the morning routine, not dread it. I want to not hit the snooze button three times. Who ever thought the idea of starting “work” at 8 AM was productive anyway? It’s no wonder why so many zombies stroll into work cranky, and some can’t shake it for the remainder of the day.

I want to taste my breakfast, sip (not gulp) my coffee, and actually help my daughter pick out matching clothes in the morning.

I want options. I want joy. I want health. I want to live, not merely exist.


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The Freelance Lifestyle

It’s hard to believe that only in the last 100 years we started to go to a place of employment to work a “job” that is defined by a very specific list of duties and responsibilities. The notion that one job description can wholly summarize our capabilities – or that any job is one size fits all – is ridiculous.

Long gone are the days where we are the master of our unique trades, individualized work schedules, and wild-hearted future… or is it? There is a clear and undeniable occupational revolution taking place. We long for careers that bring us fulfillment and joy. We yearn to get back in touch with ourselves, our desires, and our unique talents. We are holding ourselves responsible for creating a life we love and a future that excites us – and the right to forge our own path on our own time.

In the recent five years, I’ve noticed a resurgence of what I view as the “Creative Era”… an era that welcomes and encourages digging deep and uncovering creative talents, and nurturing and utilizing those talents to build a future. We are returning to an era where trades are highly regarded, vocational schools are acceptable, and working with your hands is a viable and valuable occupation. There’s something to be admired about someone who can create a piece of art, a delectable desert, a well-landscaped yard, or a masterfully crafted piece of literature. Trades take time, patience, and dedication.. and let’s not forget fortitude. And while the pay is not that of a doctor or a lawyer, neither are the hours. Flexibility in expression and time are important to creatives. Work and play become synonymous.

Here’s another sigh of relief… Your occupation is not meant to follow you throughout your entire life or wholly define you. We are not meant to remain forever in one career, niche or industry. As we grow and expand, personally and professionally, so does our resume. This portfolio we build begins to wind down varying paths, picking up different skills and experiences along the way.

Think about your career path. What brought you to where you are now. What did you want to be when you were a kid? Did you change paths? I’d love to hear your thoughts.


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We are in this together…

The theme of the week, at least as I saw it, is that we are all connected… we are in this fight – called life – together. Ultimately, we all want and are seeking the same thing in life: JOY. You can define it however you’d like but you might recognize it as overwhelming sense of contentment, feeling complete, conscious state of gratitude, calm and stillness, state of peacefulness.

Day in and day out we go about our lives, not even connected to others. We don’t say hello or even speak on an elevator. We don’t look up from our phones in the grocery line to acknowledge another. We judge one another. Our “getting to know someone” doesn’t even scratch the surface and seek to understand the core of their being… yet we long for connectedness, understanding, a sense of community. We can’t walk through life denying the existence of our brothers and sisters. We can’t connect with someone for the purpose of gaining something out of it.

We see life as this competition between one another… walking through life feeling like others are out to get us, thinking that our brothers and sisters have ill intentions or take everything so personally. We all do it… we are human… we were raised in a generation that seeks fulfillment, usually outside of ourselves.

That being said, I associate “humanity” as  being able to recognizing ourselves in the other. You recognize in others what you know to be true in yourself… insecurities, anger, hate, conceit, fear but also compassion, longing, determination, and commitment. What does that mean? It means that – subtract the flesh – we are all the same in spirit. We seek connection, love, beauty, to be recognized – professionally or romantically, to fit in – or to stand out, to find purpose, meaning, and joy.

I was at the gym this morning and while I was stretching, I looked around… There we all were, wearing our headphones, bouncing from machine to machine, with the primary mission of staying healthy and getting in shape. We all had that in common… there we were all connected, even with our headphones on. It made me smile… I felt connected to each one. We were a community.

I challenge you to see others as your brother or sister. Relate and come from a place of understanding – even to a total stranger. And if you find yourself judging someone, just be aware that you recognized something in the other that you, yourself, can identify with… and you can’t judge another until you’ve given yourself a good hard look in the mirror. We are all in this together.

#love