Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.


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Are you in the arena, or the stands?

When we decide to make some major quality of life changes, there will always be those individuals that don’t understand our motives, and even worse – criticize what they don’t understand. Here’s the thing: unless these critics are down in the arena with us, they can’t possible comprehend or appreciate the what and why of our strategy. Criticism holds no weight from the stands.

I’ve recently decided to make some hefty quality of life changes, starting with my place of employment. When you reach a point of little-to-no fulfillment, and can’t seem to find the joy in what you do, or begin to see people or places as toxic environments – then it’s time to think about making a change.

That’s where I found myself. I knew something had to change, yet I stuck around for about six months longer than I should have. I felt the desire to break free from the toxic and unfulfilling work environment, and to find a more meaningful direction. I didn’t need to change my career path, I just needed to shifted my focus… I needed to narrow-in on exactly what drew me to the profession in the first place. The people. The community. The relationship between the two.

So, I took the dive. Thanks to all of those who were in the arena with me. They got it. They understood my passion, and my drive. They had an appreciation for what I wanted to accomplish, and they stood behind me 110%. The support and encouragement that I received from those in the arena with me – setting out to achieve the same fulfillment and happiness that I sought – held more weight than those of the critics in the stands, who just couldn’t see my vision.

In addition to a more rewarding career, I wanted more quality time with my daughter, flexibility in my schedule, and time to focus on my health, which was taking a very sharp decline and fast. I’m only one month in and there are still some adjustments to be made, and still some fine-tuning to be done – but overall, I find myself in a more consistent and jovial mood. I’ve been able to focus on what’s important in life, and make my career align with my values. Even better, I have more control over my health and stress-levels.

So, stay in that arena, find your teammates, fuel one another and go for the goal. Pay no mind to the critics in the stands for they’re not on the field with you; they have no stake in the game.

(Helpful reminder: Judgement is just a mirror through which people see their own insecurities reflected back at them. When you find someone judging you, it might help to remember that they’re may be feeling insecure about the qualities they may lack, such as the courage to pursue the unknown.)


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Just say no. 

With so many demands and expectations placed on us, it’s necessary to carve out time for self and solitude. There is always something that needs to be done, people who demand your attention, and responsibilities you can’t avoid. It’s so important to do take time for self in order to recharge your batteries and avoid burnout. 

I have a mounting “to do” list of chores and people that demand my time but as a working single mom and a boyfriend who lives 30 minutes away, my time is almost entirely accounted for Sunday afternoon through Friday night. Sometimes we have to make tough decisions that require us to say no to people or events when we know it will induce burnout. And yes, people will get their feelings hurt or you might miss something but every day brings a different set of priorities, of which no one else will understand until they walk a day or week in your shoes. You should and must take time to care for self, do only what makes you happy, and recharge. 

Inevitably… You will feel guilty, but don’t beat yourself up too much. You can’t be your best self when your best self is tired and run ragged. 

When you are reaching your breaking point, just say no. 


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Join me on my journey.

I started this blog to share with my friends and family my journey with love.

I once read that my life purpose is to learn the meaning of self-love. Nothing could be more true. My journey with love began in May 2012, starting first, and most importantly, with myself. What I have learned about myself and others came from a deliberate attempt to understand myself and my actions and ultimately with those around me.

Some of you may recall that I dropped off the face of the earth for a while, disconnecting with that which did not serve me. This was a necessary step for me to focus on myself. Following the start of my journey with love, my world began to shift in miraculous ways. I got a new job, moved to a new area, three hours north from what was familiar to me, the bond with my daughter grew, the bond with her father fell apart and is still being rebuilt, I found the respect in my career that I deserved, and I started back at school to become a certified personal and professional coach.

It became apparent to me that miracles were happening in my life and I was the catalyst for it all. My exploration is endless and I’m just getting started. Follow me on my journey.