Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.

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The Leap

This time last year, I was doing one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. I left a stable government job in a management position providing me a high salary, paid time off, and health insurance to realize a life-long dream of starting a consulting firm. It was one of the most free-ing but frightening things I’ve ever experienced. I felt a rainbow of emotions over the weeks leading up to handing in my resignation and the weeks following my actual departure… feelings of uncertainty and joy, worry and excitement, relief and possibility.

In the beginning, it took an unspeakable amount of courage and vulnerability on my part and the unwavering support on behalf of my loved-ones to keep me from getting “cold feet.”  It would take faith in myself, sacrifice, a few learning curves, mentorship from a brilliant-minded colleague, friends and family talking me down from my own fears, some late nights in the office, and some moments of sheer pride and joy.

Not everyone could understand my decision, and I think that’s quite normal, but we all have moments when you just know what you need to do, like a gut-instinct that you’re cut out for something greater or different. That moment for me was an almost constant nagging feeling during the last six months of 2016. I found myself in situations where the longing to make the leap tugged harder on my heart. I was presented with scenarios that filled me up with a sense of fulfillment at the mere thought. I was put in unfortunate positions that made me question my current role, my actual impact to the community that I served and the lack of ability to get anything done due to the proverbial government “red tape.”

It has been my experience that such a huge life-transition comes with a lot of highs and lows, and requires certain life skills, such as the ability to allow time for introspection, exercizing emotional intelligence, and creating professional boundaries. I suffered some blow-back from delivering the news of leaving for another opportunity, which made it all the more difficult because I am the type of person who takes on the responsibility of another person’s feelings. Not everyone was happy for me and, in fact, some made my last few weeks quite unbearable. There were moments when I didn’t feel safe in sharing my plans going forward. Unfortunately, delivering the news would lead to my final weeks being some of the most stressful and heart-wrenching moments in my career. I felt an obligation to my staff, my clients and their projects… and in some way, I felt a sense of guilt as though I was giving up on everything I worked hard for. I later learned that my leaving felt like a betrayal, which was not my intention. It took time to come to the realization that it was not my responsibility to carry their burden, because staying meant a betrayal to myself and my own dreams.

The month of January 2018 marks one year since I decided to finally make the leap, eventually handing in my resignation, and transitioning from public-sector (everything I’ve know in the last 15 years of my working life) to private-sector. I can’t say it has all been unicorns and rainbows but it has been fulfilling, exciting, freeing, and much more relaxing that I thought it would be. I’m only one year in, and while I spent my first year building up my business, identifying who I am as a brand and what I can offer my clients, these next few years will be focused on creating more opportunity to generate more joy, income, and quality of life while my girls are still young.

Is there something that you’ve been wanting to do, but you haven’t had the courage to take the leap? I want to hear from you in the comment section below!



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Comfort is the Enemy of Progress

Last night I went to see The Greatest Showman in theaters with some friends. First of all, let me just say this was an incredible movie! Whether the character was a true depiction of the actual man or not, P.T. Barnum is an individual that doesn’t give up on his dreams, no matter what unfortunate circumstances arose. He believed in his dreams, and in something bigger than himself. He didn’t give up on his pursuit despite what was considered unfavorable or unpopular. He believed in others even when they didn’t believe in themselves. He saw the bigger picture. And… he knew that what he needed to do in order to see his dreams through would require him to think outside the box and step outside of his comfort zone. After the movie, a quote from P.T. Barnum lingered on my mind, “Comfort is the enemy of progress.”

Stepping out of our comfort zone requires us to step outside of ourselves. If we are going to strive for progress, whether professionally or personally, we have to get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable. This isn’t easy for everyone. For someone like me, who is self-prescribed introvert, this can be difficult. Stepping out of our comfort zone requires extra effort, energy, and sometimes forced experiences. It requires us to set aside our fear and be vulnerable. We have to be willing to try something new, different, difficult, or even something that’s never been done before. We have to put ourselves out there – trusting in ourselves and trusting others with our most vulnerable self. It’s a frightening thought. What if we get it wrong? What if we look silly? Will it be worth it in the end? Will I stand alone? What if I fail? Oh but, what if I succeed and evolve? 

That feeling of fear reminds you that you’re still alive. The worry of not knowing what to do when you get there reminds you that you have more room to grow and learn. The frightening feeling of being exposed and vulnerable reminds you that you’re not alone and that you’re human. What’s more exciting than knowing you haven’t quite reached your full potential…. that this great state you already exist in is only just the tip of the iceberg… and that even as magnificent as you are right now, it is only a glimpse of the incredible potential still within you?

What are some things you have been avoiding because it’s outside of your comfort zone? What has fear kept your from pursuing? I’d love to hear from you, so leave a message below in the comments!




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Be still with this…

“The scars are there because the wounds have healed.” – John O’Leary
The end of 2016 was difficult for me. While many exciting things happened, many heartbreakingly sad things bubbled up. I’ve been forced to revisit past memories, some self-inflicted and others not. Memories that I care not to remember and serve no purpose, yet somehow I feel more whole and complete recalling them, sitting with them, and making my peace with them. Those who know me understand that the many paths to where I find myself today have been very bumpy and yet, I find myself in a stronger place in life with myself, my peers, and in my circumstances. I feel fortunate for my friendships and my successes and failures, all of which have molded the person that I am. And so, while I am still recalling painful memories from my past – a past that I am choosing to forgive and growing from – I am thankful for the quote that I heard today, because it reminds me that what doesn’t break us, makes us stronger. 
I had to share the quote with you because it might resonate with you as it did for me.  

“The scars are there because the wounds have healed.” – John O’Leary