Live Deliberately

Living each day with deep intention.

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The Power of Expectation

Expectations have such a hold on each one of us. Marveling at its possibilities with wide eyes and lusting after what could be, you become hooked and drawn into believing it’s whispers that “this is reality.” It’s so right, so perfect. 

And WOMP! Expectations have a way of letting you down, crashing in disappointment, possibilities unraveling before your own eyes. Feelings of emptiness where the hope for what could have been once live. You think, “how could this be?” And maybe you throw yourself an adult tantrum (yes, it’s a real thing) at not getting your way. The vision was so clear and so seemingly real and possible. 

Behold… the power of expectation. 

Let go of what should be and embrace what is, each day and each moment. 

Set yourself free. 


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Wo(man) on a Mission

So, you’re on a mission… You set your sights on a goal, you get hyped about starting, and stoked to see your dreams become reality. And then life happens and you get distracted, and you wander off the path for a bit. How do pick back up and find the bread crumbs you left for yourself?

I know this all too well… here I go again… I’ve lost sight of my vision many times but I always find myself coming back to it. It happens, we all get distracted. Building a home and planning and preparation can be any easy excuse… But I won’t tolerate my own excuse(s).
How do we hold our vision? How do we stop ourselves from making or allowing excuses for losing our vision?

We enlist support in friends and colleagues. We rally our families and make sure they know what our vision is and the end game, and what it’s going to take to get there. We ask them to hold us accountable. 

How do we motivate and get back up off our tush? Shake off the shame from ditching your dreams (temporarily) and just start somewhere. Find the groove again, pick a point to start and just go. 

And lastly, stay on target! Don’t allow yourself to lose focus for too long, and persist. Because, why? Because you don’t want to look back and regret not chasing your dreams… 


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A dream is a wish your heart makes…

I had the pleasure of spending some cuddle time with my daughter this evening while watching Cinderella. The movie is a classic. Disney movies made back when I was a kid offered so much more than entertainment. They taught values, manners, respect… and, by the way, who knew Cinderella was so wise??

Singing along to “A dream is a wish your heart makes…” made me stop and reflect on the meaning behind the lyrics and I thought what a culture we have become. We do quite a bit of day dreaming, wishing, hoping, longing… we dream of a successful and rewarding career, a love so good, traveling, etc. And to some of us, they’re just a day dream and could never be a reality – or so we think.

These dreams are our hearts desires. These aren’t just hopes or passive thoughts. These are desires that deep down, in our hearts, we long for – these are desires, ultimately, for happiness. Think about it… who doesn’t want a rewarding and successful career? Who doesn’t want a beautiful relationship? Who doesn’t want to travel the world? These are just examples (admittedly, my own examples).

So, what’s holding us back? When your heart is screaming at you to go get your happiness… what are we allowing to hold us back? Most likely, they’re excuses. Here’s mine for example.

DESIRE: A rewarding and successful career. EXCUSE: I need financial stability to support my daughter and my purpose is not yet financially rewarding. (Reality: I’m slightly afraid to take the leap… but what I’ve done instead is attempt to make a slow transition until my purpose can support my basic needs.)

DESIRE: A beautiful relationship. EXCUSE: As a single mother, with a job and school, I don’t have time. (Reality: I’m selfish with my time. Weekdays are virtually completely spoken for, but I have most of my weekends – I could meet someone with the same schedule or in the same situation.)

DESIRE: To travel. EXCUSE: Money is mostly accounted for. (Reality: Putting money away little by little and planning in advance for travel is really not that difficult. It’s worked for me in the past. I just need to make the decision and follow through.)

So, what do you desire? What excuses are you allowing to hold you back? What are some options for making your dreams a reality? Make a list.

Go chase your dreams.

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You owe it to yourself…

Round two. I got some feedback from some of you that you liked my post, “it hit home”, “this was exactly what I needed to hear”, “you’re so right”, etc. So, I thought I’d talk about it more today.

Desire. What is it? It’s a longing for something, a strong feeling of wanting something. We all have a desire for something… usually something greater than our current possession, circumstance, career, relationship. Essentially, you feel you deserve better or get a sense that you are made for something bigger or better. Guess what, you are right! Trust your intuition. You’re deserve everything you desire. But are you willing to do what it takes to have it? Are you ready to take action to get there?

Let’s address the steps it takes to get there.

  1. Narrow it down. You can only address and focus on one thing at a time. Figure out what it is you want and ask yourself why  you want it. When you get it, how will life be different for you?
  2. Hold that vision. Do what you need to do to make sure you are reminded of that vision. Put a post it note on your mirror, hang a picture of it… you get the picture. This keeps your priorities on track. Before taking action on any task, ask yourself, “is this going to contribute to the end result I am aiming for?” Ultimately, you want it to result in exactly what you envision. Nothing less. No substitutions.
  3. What is true for you now? Assess what you have here and now that will allow you to immediately begin turning your vision into a reality. What resources do you currently have? (Resources = time, money, equipment, knowledge, people, etc.) How can you reallocate or make better use of those resources?
  4. Which resources do you lack? Set a goal: Create a plan of action to acquire those resources, by priority, in a timeframe that’s comfortable for you.
  5. Are you in the right mind set? Do you have faith in yourself that you can make it happen? If you don’t, then you will fail. Don’t give in to limiting beliefs.
  6. What are you tolerating right now? Shed some of that dead weight. Is it limiting beliefs? Is it settling for less and feeling like it’s going to have to do? Are you making excuses? Is someone else giving you excuses? Do you have the drive and dedication that it will take to manifest your vision?
  7. And finally… GO FOR IT. If you want anything bad enough, you have the ability to make it happen.

I could ramble a ton of cliches at you… Put the petal to the metal. Step on it. Carpe diem. Nike!

You get the picture. No more excuses.

I’d love to hear more from you! What is your vision? What are you tolerating?